The Government Can't Do Anything Right!

By Andrew Davidson
on March 27, 2010

This morning, I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the Public Power Monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department Of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the Municipal Water Utility. After that, I turned on my television to one of the Federal Communications Commission regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic & Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics And Space Administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department Of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food & Drug Administration. At the appropriate time as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute Of Standards And Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments Of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.

On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the local Public School. After work, I come home to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the State And Local Building Codes and Fire Marshall’s Inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local Police Department.

I then log on to the internet which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration and post on forums about how socialism in medicine is bad because the government can't do anything right.

This is a repost of this 4chan post on /b/, which has been circling about the internet lately. I have formatted the text, removed some redundancy (in government? impossible!) and linked to each respective service.